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20, June 2019

Facebook’s Lyar digital currency available as swap for your first born

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"20K a year or my first born...? Sory child, Facebook's offer is just too compelling."

“20K a year or my first born…? Sory child, Facebook’s offer is just too compelling.”

Facebook is launching a new digital currency which it expects to take over from national currencies like the US Dollar, the UK Pound, the Euro and the Venezuelan Bolivar.

Called the Lyar, it will be pegged to the pot of gold buried in Mark Zuckerberg‘s back garden.

The currency will initially be given to those who indenture their first-born child to Facebook who will then have full access to all their personal information in perpetuity.

In return, the parents will given a stipend of 20K per year reckoned in their native currency until the child reaches the age of majority, wins the lottery or dies, whichever comes first.

Those not within the child-bearing group can exchange local currency for the Lyar on a 1:1 basis although each 100 Lyar exchanged also requires the submission of one piece of personal information.

As most people have already given Facebook access to more data than the police and security services hold on them, it’s estimated that the average user would have to exchange 98K currency units before giving away additional information such as their great, great grandmother’s maiden name, the name of their second pet or the name of the second person they had sex with.

Facebook expects the Lyar to appreciate in value as world currencies decline and crumble to dust as the company manipulates world powers into trade wars none can win.

Currency experts confirmed that your first born is the going rate for investing in new crypto currencies. They advised would-be investors to put off having children until the details had been finalised. Or go live off grid.

More details on the Lyar will be popping into that super secret email inbox that you thought no one knew about soon.

Ref: BBC News Facebook reveals digital currency details


If Facebook’s offer is not attractive enough, how much would you sell your first born for?
What would you like to bury in Mark Zuckerberg’s back garden?
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