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31, August 2019

Facebook creates team to recover hacked accounts

You are awesome for sharing

Facebook's hi-tech Hacked Account Recovery department

Facebook’s hi-tech Hacked Account Recovery department

INTERIOR: Facebook’s Hacked Account Recovery office somewhere in the Far East where labour is cheap.

A large sign on the wall reads:

“The Bot is Always Right
Especially if they don’t advertise”

Three people sit at well-worn desks working on ten-year-old laptops.

JEROME: Ha! Ha! I just love this job. This is the 20th dweeb this morning who used “password” as their password.

DANILO: I’ve had 17 “1234”s.

MAHALIA: Beat you. I’ve had 31 “qwerty”s.

DANILO: Any advertisers?

MAHALIA: If they can’t think of a secure password, they’re e not going to be able to navigate the advertising platform, are they?

ALL TOGETHER: Reject!

MAHLIA: Hey, here’s one. Ran their entire business on Instagram.

DANILO: Idiot.

JEROME: What happened?

MAHLIA: Got hacked, sent out spam. Bot shut it down.

DANILO: Genuine?

MAHLIA: Oh yes, the hack was from the other side of the world. Seems a shame not to reinstate it.

JEROME: It’s a life lesson. Besides, I bet the account doesn’t advertise. (He nods at the sign.)

MAHALIA: No… I do so love this job, too. But I sometimes wonder why we’re here—

DANILO: —Ah, the existential question—

MAHALIA: —No! If we don’t talk to the users other than through a ‘no reply’ address, and if we don’t reinstate accounts…?

DANILO: We do if they’re good advertisers. (He nods at the sign.)

JEROME: You know we’re only here so Mr Z can say he has a ‘team’ working on it.

MAHALIA: Three is hardly a team.

JEROME: We’re not playing soccer. Three’s a team.

DANILO: Just get on with it. Press the Reject key and move on.

MAHALIA: You’re right. But what if it was your account?

DANILO: I work in the Hacked Account Recovery department, remember?

Ref: BBC News ‘My Instagram got hacked and I lost my business’


If there was no social media would you a) die or b) breathe a sigh of relief?
What’s your favourite method of hacking people’s social media accounts?
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