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EU makes tech giants responsible for controlling online copyright material. “That’s fine,” said Google. “We control everything else.”

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"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen..."

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen…”

The EU has voted in a controversial copyright law which holds tech companies responsible for material their users upload.

So if Little Tamsin should suffer a brain haemorrhage and decide she wants to upload a Justin Bieber track to YouTube to impress or annoy her friends, then YouTube would carry the can for copyright breech.

A spokesperson from Google, who owns YouTube, said: “We’ve been lobbying against this but the dumb MEPs played right into our hands. We control a thousand times more data than the FBI, CIA and GCHQ combined. Now the Euro council has given us control of all copyright material too.”

In a reference to the 1960’s TV series, The Outer Limits, they continued:”We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We will be the gatekeepers of music, art, literature, inventions, everything…” The spokesperson tried to stifle a maniacal laugh.

“The EU imbeciles haven’t a clue how this is going to work in practise and totally lack any expertise to monitor it. All they’ve done is to hand us the keys to the kingdom.

“But don’t worry. We’re not Facebook. We’ll look after your data. Just look upon us as someone who has your best interests at heart, like a big brother.”


Is this giving more control to the  tech companies? Has the EU any fucking idea what it’s talking about? Leave a Comment below.

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