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23, October 2019

DUP opens abortion clinic and LGBT chapel

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Arlene Foster (left) with terrorist (right) has promised to perform the first legalised abortion in Northern Ireland since god was a nipper

Arlene Foster (left) with terrorist (right) has promised to perform the first legalised abortion in Northern Ireland since god was a nipper

As the UK bill to legalise abortion and gay marriage cane into effect in Northern Ireland, the DUP called a special meeting of Stormont to celebrate the fact.

Stormont hasn’t sat for almost three years because no political party in Northern Ireland likes any of the others. They won’t even share a bag of crisps.

After the usual rounds of name-calling, hand-grenade passing and walk-outs, the DUP was left alone and allowed to get on with the business of political posturing.

The DUP was particularly keen to show support for the bill and has been planning the opening of several clinics and chapels to cope with the expected influx.

DUP leader and pro-abortion and gay rights campaigner Arlene Foster said: “The DUP was never a party to cling to the past or stand in the way of progress.

“We have always embraced social change and are proud to be supporting the rights of women and people of all genders by opening these new facilities.

“I, personally, am so pleased to see these new measures become law that, although I am not a minister, I will be taking a minor officiating role at the first LGBT wedding.

“I will also, personally, be performing the first abortion…”

Ref: BBC News Abortion: NI politicians’ bid to halt law changes fails

Who do you most wish had been aborted?
All men (and women) are created equal apart from… who?
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