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22, April 2019

Diane Abbott apologises for drinking M&S Mojito. “I should have made my own”

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"I'm really sorry for drinking an M&S Mojito. It was definitely not up to my usual standard and I feel I've let all my Mojito friends down."

“I’m really sorry for drinking an M&S Mojito. It was definitely not up to my usual standard and I feel I’ve let all my Mojito friends down.”

Diane Abbott, Shadow Home Secretary, has apologised for drinking a can of M&S Mojito on a train.

“I didn’t have time to do a proper shop,” she explained. “Otherwise I would have made my own. The M&S can was refreshing but hardly Tom Cruise standard,” she laughed, referencing the movie, Cocktail starring Tom Cruise.

“I prefer Bacardi Silver Rum although I do occasionally use Appleton White Rum if I want it to have a Jamaican rather than a Puerto Rican touch.

“Of course you have to use fresh mint, that’s the whole point. And fresh lime. It needs to be juicy. Some people use old limes that are dried out – I never go to their parties. You need zesty lime juice and have to mix in just the right amount of sugar to produce that Mojito tang.

“Some people use ordinary sugar but it’s much better with castor sugar. I probably don’t put in as much as some because I like my Mojitos to have a little bite,

“I adjust the soda depending on whether I’m in a sipping mood or drinking mood.

“And the ice is essential, too. You don’t get that in a can.

The M&S Mojito just doesn’t cut it but I was in a hurry. I’m truly sorry.

“I guess I’ve just blown my M&S sponsorship deal.”


Should Diane Abbott have been prosecuted for a) breaking Railway rules or b) drinking an M&S mojito? Leave a Comment below.

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