“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

21, April 2019

Death duty to kick in at 67. “We can’t wait till you’re dead for your money,” says Gov

You are awesome for sharing

"C'mon Pops. Give me the house, pay the tax, go sit in the corner and drool. You know it's the right thing to do."

“C’mon Pops. Give me the house, pay the tax, go sit in the corner and drool. You know it’s the right thing to do.”

Due to the rise in life expectancy, the burgeoning cost of looking after the aged and reckless government spending, new laws will see ‘death duty’ applied when you reach 67.

It will no longer be called Inheritance Tax (IHT) but DDT (Double Death Tax) and it will come into effect next year to minimise the ability of most people to seek financial advice to try to avoid it.

A ministry spokesperson explained the new system: “The current IHT levels are far too generous and, with a little planning, most people can avoid it altogether. That’s simply not fair on the rest of the country, especially the living, so we are introducing DDT to even-out the situation.

“There will be no change to the current IHT allowances, but DDT means you will have to pay the tax before you die.

“But let’s face it, by the time you’re 67 there’s not much left to live for anyway, is there? You’ll be playing dominoes, knitting or slobbering away in a corner with dementia. And you will already have become a drain on the NHS.

“You will probably have to sell your house and downsize which has the added benefit of freeing-up housing as well as putting money in the government coffers. Have you any idea how much it costs to run a country these days? Especially inefficiently?

“Unmarried couples will be hardest hit and we envisage a flurry of marriages which is good for the economy, followed by a flurry of divorces which is good for the economy.

“The additional revenue DDT will raise will go towards the care of the elderly. And, er, other government projects.

“if you are already aged 67 or over, DDT will kick in immediately, but the chances are you’re already in a care home sponging being looked after by the state so it will have no effect.

“If you are still in your own home then it may be time to think about downsizing and letting the younger generation have a chance.

“The entire process has been carefully designed to benefit the community as a whole. Er, well apart from those over 67, that is.”


Is inheritance tax a fair and just tax? Should old people be forced to pass on their goods and chattels? How old is old? Leave a Comment below.

You are awesome for sharing

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply: