These include allegations of pigeon fancying, dog trafficking, cat walking, sheep harassment, saying “boo” to a goose, fishing for compliments, rudeness, lateness, failing to wear trousers, eating the last éclair, being nice to a solicitor, gerrymandering, pettifogging, and telling fibs.
The last complaint had to be quashed as it is actually written into the job description but all MPs fell foul of other misdemeanours so the charge was left in.
For most, it was just another day in the life of an MP.
However, the complaints were investigated by the Commons standards commission. As a result, every MP was found in breach of Commons standards, breaking the law, wasting time, being a twat or making a mess in the toilets.
The ruling forced every MP to resign including the members of the standards committee.
Parliament is being run by the cleaning staff who passed a bill to increase minimum wage to £127.53 per hour and reduce MP’s salary to £2.71 per month.
It is expected that this will deter all new potential MP candidates apart from those with a lust for power, position and willing to take a backhander.
Normal service will be resumed after the next election.
Do you find MPs easier to blackmail than solicitors?
What has your MP done for you? Use as many sheets of paper as necessary
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