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Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texas. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

During her visit to China UK PM, Theresa May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Clown School applications soar

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As per ancient tradition, one alumni congratulates another successful Clown school graduate

As per ancient tradition, one alumni congratulates another successful Clown school graduate

In an unprecedented reversal of typical university applications, students in their thousands have been switching from political degrees to sign up for Clown School.

Clown impresario and spokesman for the Family Of Clowns Association, Professor Bongo Baggy Britches, said: “Clowning has been a dying profession but it has got a new lease of life today.

“We have had so many applications that we will have to open new Clown Schools to handle all the admissions.”

Professor Bongo Baggy Britches is in charge of the prestigious Clown Fool School in Windsor, not far from Eton. He continued: “Most of the new students have switched from economics, law or political studies and signed up for the Buffoon course.

“This has become increasingly popular in recent years. It’s very satisfying to see students going on to have illustrious careers, not necessarily in clowning.

“But not everyone is cut out to be a clown. Some of the students just couldn’t adapt to the idiotic buffoonery demanded of the character and some went back to their law or political degrees.

“Being a good bumbler takes time, work and effort although some people do make it look easy.”

The Professor concluded: “We do have one or two famous alumni.” He tapped his bulbous red nose.

Ref: BBC News Boris Johnson wins race to be Tory leader and PM


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