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Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

Category Archives for "World"

17, September 2019

Russian ‘extreme proposal’ gag goes wrong as fiancée blows up car

Extreme proposal: Alexei didn't get the girl but he did get a massive bill for a burned-out car

‘Extreme proposals’ are very popular in Russia. They typically involve the fiancée being harassed by fake police on a fake charge and then her fiancé jumps in and pops the question. However, one extreme proposal went wrong when Alexei pulled the stunt on his fiancée Helga. Unknown to Alexei who thought Helga worked in administration, […]

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91.7% of Facebook users want to be tracked

Facebook and three billion other sites are watching you - but who cares?

In wake of Facebook‘s promise to allow users to opt out of tracking from sites outside Facebook, users say they want to be tracked. The WeWaT (we Want Tracking) user group has over one billion members and a survey suggests 91.7% of Facebook users will soon join. WeWat founder, Jemima Millar, 27, said: “We have […]

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Top Ten reasons customers would rather speak to a robot than a human

Which customer service agent would you rather talk to?

When ringing a company, many people complain they’re put on hold for ages and then get through to a divvy ‘customer agent’ who hasn’t a clue how to help them. That may be why a recent survey found nine out of ten people would rather speak to a robot ‘customer service agent’ than a human. […]

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Social media backlash forces InterSpace U-turn

InterSpace Ad:

A furious social media campaign forced space agencies to reverse their decision to cancel the InterSpace pass. People with more money than they can sensibly spend without resorting to philanthropy can use the InterSpace pass to travel around the solar system at reduced rates. Pass holders can jump from ship to ship at no extra […]

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Tourists’ bums banned from Rome

A funny thing happened to tourists on their way to the Roman Forum...

A new law passed in Rome has banned anyone from sitting on the capital’s famous Spanish Steps. The Scalinata di Trinità dei Monti is one of Rome‘s most famous landmarks where tourists gather to eat pizza, pretend to be Italian, and talk loudly but not about the weather, not even the British. However, new laws […]

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Italy in revolt as court bans designer clothes

In a move towards egalitarianism, the Italian Supreme Court has ruled that it is illegal to wear expensive designer clothes, drive expensive sports cars or eat at expensive ‘fine dining’ restaurants. The ruling has set Italian haute couture society reeling and even sent peasant-class Italians in their string vests out in the streets to protest. […]

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Dog-AI interface brings forward world domination to 2030

Bella (2nd from right) said she is looking forward to some intelligent conversation with her doggy friends while watching the human race descend into inane stupidity

Pioneering technology which links the brain to computers and AI (Artificial Intelligence) systems has been developed and tested on dogs. As the technology advances dogs could be set to take over the world by 2030 rather than 2050 as originally assumed. The first pioneer is Bella, a Border Collie and the sister of Zak who […]

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