Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

During her visit to China UK PM, Theresa May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texas. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Category Archives for "USA"

19, June 2019

US deploys chefs to protect beef burger supplies as White House pulls out of burger deal

The US is deploying its top chefs to safeguard White House burger supplies

America has deployed 1,000 chefs to bakeries and butchers throughout Washington DC to ensure continuing supplies of burgers. The White House pulled out of an agreement with local burger suppliers guaranteeing to buy so-many burgers per week. When US President Donald Trump was off on jollies doing state visits and the like, the White House […]

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Smart Apps force you to obey your smart phone. Read at your own risk

It'll never happen

A technology company has developed smart phone apps that force users to obey ‘hidden’ commands. Games and apps already make users check for updates and buy in-app ‘skills’ but HypnoTec has taken the principle a stage further. The FeelGood app produces a feeling of euphoria. Scientists say it’s not dissimilar to the effect of marijuana […]

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Mountain Air scam: Bottled ‘Mountain Air’ not bottled in mountains

Does your bottled air come from the mountains or Dagenham? Can you really, really tell?

A company has been accused of making millions of pounds from gullible consumers by selling bottled ‘mountain air’ that is no better than the air they can get for free. An investigation has revealed that the Mountain Air Company has been scamming customers by selling air that was not bottled in the mountains. In a […]

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Available NOW -Young Scientist Plastic Waste Experiment Kit

With the Young Scientist Plastic Waste Experiment Kit, discover how much plastic it takes to kill your fish

Yes, kids, now you can have your very own Plastic Waste Experiment Kit. Do with your plastic exactly what the grownups do. Promises years of fun. Scientifically educational. The kit comes complete with: 24 miniature plastic bottles Packaging from 12 packets of spaghetti and other pasta (not supplied) Packaging from 6 individually-wrapped vegetables (not supplied) […]

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Female dialogue in all-male prison movies less than 50%

Software that analyses the proportion of male-to-female dialogue in movies has revealed that movies with more male characters contain proportionally more male dialogue. This revelation has sent shockwaves through Hollywood and the TV industry. Both male and females scriptwriters have vowed to include more female characters in their scripts and to give them more dialogue […]

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