Category Archives for "UK"
After losing 17 Brexit negotiators and making 83 trips to Brussels herself UK Prime Minister, Theresa May, has called it a day and thrown in the towel over Brexit negotiations. “I’ve taken all I’m going to take from you bunch of dim-witted, jobsworthy, ingratiates!” she told the House. “Whinge, whinge, whinge. Delay, delay, delay. Moan, […]Tell me more...!
Raw materials for the manufacture of toilet paper are in short supply. The UK gets them from Europe. There’s normally no problem because the EU is full of it but Brexit fears are adding loo roll to the list of things we need to sit down and think hard about. A spokesman for the Association […]Tell me more...!
Mrs Justice Parker, 68, fell asleep “momentarily” while hearing a case in the Family Division of the High Court. “I’ve heard a lot of boring cases in my time,” she said. “But this takes the biscuit. It was boring as fart. I can’t even remember what it was about, it was so boring. Probably some […]Tell me more...!
Shamima Begum, 19, who left the UK in 2015 to fight for IS, the so-called Islamic State, wants to return to the UK to have her baby. She says she has no regrets joining IS and found the sight of severed heads in bins quite jolly but now she wants a comfy life and to […]Tell me more...!
The saying “Beer before wine make you feel fine, wine before beer makes you feel queer,” has been shown to be “pure balderdash” say German scientists. In a study involving the country’s entire student population, half were told to drink six pints of lager followed by two bottles of white wine. The other half drank […]Tell me more...!
A survey by the Academy for Serious Studies found that young people are unable to distinguish between individuals over the age of 65. A survey of more than seven young people aged between 18 and 19 carried out in a pub in Wapping on Friday night revealed that not one of them could tell the […]Tell me more...!
People are queuing up to get into Wetherspoon pubs after chairman and Brexiteer Tim Martin released a statement saying he never tells his staff to be nice to customers. Instead of the cheery “What can I get for you?” English pubs are renowned for, Wetherspoon staff are treating customers with the disdain they deserve. As […]Tell me more...!
Confessed shopaholic, Wendy Wilson, 57 and divorced, has bought every item in the Argos catalogue. “I just can’t help it,” she said. “Everything looks so new and shiny and desirable, I know I simply must have it.” To date she has bought over 20,000 items. As new items are added and old ones removed, her […]Tell me more...!