Paedophile ring smashed – Pied Piper arrested

The world’s first AI politician can sidestep questions on any issue from policing to climate change, and poverty to taxation. However, the developers have so far been unable to incorporate the essential lying, expense-fiddling and back-stabbing routines

Nigerian Presidential elections halted in last-minute drama – someone actually replied to the Prince’s Nigerian scan email!

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agrees $35bn divorce settlement. His affair with Fox TV host Lauren Sánchez officially recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the most expensive f*@k in history!

Killer car seats have been sold online for £8. Tennessee is considering them as alterantive to the electric chair

Stan Lee lives! Doctors say: “It’s a Marvel!”

James Corden whinges and complains’chubby’ actors are shut out of romantic roles. #MeTooFat

“Walls work!” says Donald Trump. “Mine doesn’t!” said Bobby “Bubba” Brandon of Texan. “It doesn’t even keep out the damn Mexican kids next door!”

During her visit to China UK PM, Thereas May, said she wanted to “intensify the golden era of UK/China relations”. Bejing said if that’s what she wanted, they were quite ready for another Boxer Rebellion

Thousands of criminals to be tracked by GPS. “And if that works,” said a UK government spokesperson. “We’ll be rolling it out as compulsory for everyone else.”

To mark April Fools’ Day, in Hungary hundreds of people took part in a “silly walks” parade. In the UK, millions of people watched fools cocking up another Brexit vote!

Corruption allegations made against Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu. “It’s anti-semitic!” he claims. #Anti-semitismFail

Saturday Night Live Improv star arrested in bizzare recipe squabble. A police spokesman said: “You couldn’t make it up!”

Trump’s “witch hunt” successful! 27 witches arrested. Salem on lockdown

Gollum diagnosed with shiny object syndrome

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Facebook data leak accidentally reveals identity of the unknown soldier

Category Archives for "Science & Technology"

Government solves Welsh mountain queue problems by making them hills

Mount Snowdon is now Hill Snowdon. The Welsh will no longer be plagued by hoards of tourists who will now be shuffled off to Scotland

The influx of tourist to Wales’ mountains has revealed severe problems for visitors. There is a shortage of parking, toilets, refreshment facilities, and too many locals are speaking in a Welsh accent. The popularity of beauty spots such as Snowdon and Pen y Fan is because they are beauty spots. And mountains. At 1085m Snowdon […]

Tell me more...!

Fitness trackers for the unfit – they take off the calories so you don’t have to

Huawei has developed a new fitness tracker that over-reports activity levels and calories used, and stores the data on a srver in China. The new Huawei WatchNot 2 is aimed at obese and lazy people or, as the advertising puts it, “those with an excessive lifestyle”. It’s for anyone who desperately wants to lose weight […]

Tell me more...!
13, April 2019

“I’ve never wanted to shag so many women,” says 87-year old after brain zap experiment

A new medical procedure called Transcranial Direct Current Stimulation (TDCS) boosts brain functions and mental ability. It applies a small burst of electricity to specific brain centres. It was developed to help patients with sub-optimal brain functions due to illness. However, it has also been found to “rejuvenate” ailing brain functions. In a controlled experiment […]

Tell me more...!

Advertising watchdog rules misleading adverts must stop

Sinking under a barge of consumer complaints plus pressure from subsidised TV channels such as the BBC, the Advertising Watchdog has ruled that adverts that do not “tell the truth” will be banned from next month. The new ruling covers hyperbole, exaggerated claims, misleading information and lies. The food industry is expected to be hit […]

Tell me more...!

Shock! Horror! Newton’s Law applies to Facebook.You could be killing a kitten

Think before you hit that Sad emoji button! You could be giving a banker andother bonus!

Newton’s Law that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction has been discovered to apply to Facebook Reactions such as Like, Heart and the smiley emoticons. Every time you respond to a post with an Angry emoticon, somewhere else someone posts a photo of a puppy in a bow tie sitting in […]

Tell me more...!

A result for Mr Average. Good-looking men make the worst lovers. “And they’re bad at everything else” say scientists

Good-looking man. Must be good in bed. Don't you beleive it, ladies!

There has long been discussion over which nation has the best lovers. According to a recent poll, men from Spain, Brazil and Italy were the best lovers whereas men from Germany, England and Sweden were the worst. However, rather than lump all men from the same country into a single group, scientists at the Academy […]

Tell me more...!
9, March 2019

Man loses vowels in rare middle-age speech dysfunction affliction. “Whts vryn n bt?” he asks

Rodney Chimes -

Rodney Chimes, 51, from Chester has lost the ability to pronounce vowels. “It started when he turned 50,” said his Wife, Loveday, 47. “He was worried about losing touch with our two boys and thought text speak was the way to reconnect. Now he can’t stop. “It’s played havoc with his public speaking engagements although […]

Tell me more...!