Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

Category Archives for "Politics"

2, June 2019

Government sued for “egregious and capricious” neglect of its citizens

Big Brother is obviously not watching everyone close enough

The government and local councils are being sued for not being Big Brother enough. Lawyers representing neglected citizens of the UK are suing the government for disregard, negligence and “politically-driven abuse of power.” On behalf of the 350,000 homeless, lawyers argue that the government and local councils failed to provide protection, support and assistance in […]

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