You CAN die laughing – although not at a Michael McIntye show

How to spot a fashion rip-off – the original garment costs ten times what it’s worth!

Movie business to make a movie about the business of making a movie in the movie business

Thieves broke into Battersea Dogs Home. No animals were taken but police are looking for leads. A spokesman for Battersea said: “They’re barking up the wrong tree.”

James Pattison to stop collaborating with co-authors. His next solo book is due out in2035

Hotel California – guests check out and leave! One said: “The pink champagne was a nice surprise and the band was good but the guitar solo did go on a bit…”

A vandal broke into the Tate Gallery and made up Tracy Emin’s “My Bed”. Police are looking for a criminal who’s had a good night’s sleep

Narcissus updates Faccebook relationship status to “Me”. Zuckerberg updates his status to “God”

Donald Trump urges Europe to repatriate IS fighters – and shoot them!

Catalytic converters stolen for precious metals. Police search for culprits was exhautive… But plans to prosecute dealers receiving the metal have been scrapped

Turner Old Master found in rubble: Ex-teacher Brian Turner doing well after his ordeal

Prolific Facebook “Liker” Simon Miles ordered to stop Liking everything – he doesn’t Like it.

In a bid to tackle herd mentality, Facebook bans mental patients with hearing difficulties

Birmingham bin workers strike over ‘poor equipment’ claims. A council spokesman said: “That’s absolute rubbish!”

Cost of burials and cremations has risen sharply – Ofcom accuses funeral directors of taking dead people for a ride

“Salsa is supposed to keep you fit,” said Roscoe Arbuckle. “But I ate 5 bottles a day and I haven’t lost an ounce!”

Government crackdown on unregistered protests has lead to an increase in unregistered protests

Remake of Hitchcock’s The Birds being backed by vulture capitalists

Government passes Deferred Gratification bill. It comes into effect in 2050

Category Archives for "Business"

91.7% of Facebook users want to be tracked

Facebook and three billion other sites are watching you - but who cares?

In wake of Facebook‘s promise to allow users to opt out of tracking from sites outside Facebook, users say they want to be tracked. The WeWaT (we Want Tracking) user group has over one billion members and a survey suggests 91.7% of Facebook users will soon join. WeWat founder, Jemima Millar, 27, said: “We have […]

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Top Ten reasons customers would rather speak to a robot than a human

Which customer service agent would you rather talk to?

When ringing a company, many people complain they’re put on hold for ages and then get through to a divvy ‘customer agent’ who hasn’t a clue how to help them. That may be why a recent survey found nine out of ten people would rather speak to a robot ‘customer service agent’ than a human. […]

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Tourists’ bums banned from Rome

A funny thing happened to tourists on their way to the Roman Forum...

A new law passed in Rome has banned anyone from sitting on the capital’s famous Spanish Steps. The Scalinata di Trinità dei Monti is one of Rome‘s most famous landmarks where tourists gather to eat pizza, pretend to be Italian, and talk loudly but not about the weather, not even the British. However, new laws […]

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Italy in revolt as court bans designer clothes

In a move towards egalitarianism, the Italian Supreme Court has ruled that it is illegal to wear expensive designer clothes, drive expensive sports cars or eat at expensive ‘fine dining’ restaurants. The ruling has set Italian haute couture society reeling and even sent peasant-class Italians in their string vests out in the streets to protest. […]

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Universities apply ‘secret email test’ to student applicants

In a leaked memo, it’s been revealed that Universities are adding a new secret test to all student applications. The Chancellor of a University he did not want to be named said: “While we happily accept all students regardless of race, sexual orientation or economic background, we cannot compromise on intellectual ability, common sense or […]

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