The UK’s Brexit negotiation team has demanded the whole of the previous Brexit agreement be scrapped claiming the EU’s chief Brexit negotiator, Michel Barnier, is a vampire.
The accusation comes after a photograph emerged of Mr Barnier standing next to a mirror but casting no reflection.
One of the UK’s 27 ex-Brexit negotiators who did not want to be named said: “I always thought it strange that I never saw him in the little boy’s room.
“Which is full of mirrors. Above the wash basins, you know,” he added hastily.
“It would have been easy for him to slip over to France to hide his true identity.
“Come to think of it, I’ve never seen him out in daylight and never seen him cast a shadow.
Mr Johnson said: “This new revelation proves what drastic and dastardly steps the EU is prepared to take to thwart our efforts.
“I shall immediately demand Mr Barnier be sacked and we start new negotiations with a team of totally human negotiators. I have already issued our negotiation team with holy water and a wooden stake along with proper instructions for their use.”
When asked for a comment an EU spokesperson merely shrugged and floated off down the corridor.
Which politician would you not like to meet on a dark night?
What deterrent have you found to be most effective against vampires?
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