A junior officer in the Metropolitan Police sent a warning to the press telling them not to make the Met look silly or else. The warning came after a series of cartoons and articles appeared in several publications making fun of the Met’s inability to walk around without making a noise like a siren, enter […]Tell me more...!
A new radio telescope has revealed a small colony living in an underground shelter on the Moon. Dr Nigel Needlemeyer, chief astronomer on the project, said: “We were astounded. We thought the Moon was incapable of supporting human life. “The telescope has revealed radio mast-like structures along with doors leading to an underground shelter. We’ve […]Tell me more...!
The UK prison service is off to IKEA. A UK fact-finding tour of Swedish prisons found that prisoners much preferred ‘home comforts’ and meat balls to sparse bile-green cells and slop. The new cells include a TV, Xbox, a laptop (with limited internet access), a fridge, a walk-in shower with towels changed every two days […]Tell me more...!
In a hidden penthouse office high above the streets of Brussels, three covert EU agents sit and plot against the UK. They drink unhealthy fizzy drinks, eat Belgian chocolate, and wish they were based in the UK near a Greggs. The Euro3, as they have been dubbed by MI6, answer only to the EU President, […]Tell me more...!
Government cuts have hit all departments and the MoD (Ministry of Defence) is no exception. A MoD spokesman said: “With the budget cuts, we’ve had to make every penny count and when these came up for sale on eBay it was too good an opportunity to miss.” The ships in question are German warships over […]Tell me more...!
Front runner in the Tory leadership race Boris Johnson inadvertently revealed to 1.2 million listeners the launch codes for US nuclear submarines. The blooper came when Mr Johnson was being interviewed by Moscow Today, a radio broadcast for ex-pat Russians living in the UK. He was hoping the interview would persuade Russian members of the […]Tell me more...!
Feature by guest reporter David Layzelle US President Donald Trump claims the mass-migration of Mexican workers is upsetting the Earth’s rotation. Speaking at a Republican convention at Tyler, Texas, Trump expounded the theory that mass-migration was making the world ‘top heavy and liable to spin off its axis. To whoops of “yee ha” and much […]Tell me more...!