In a bid to prove that the North does get as much money as the South, the government has redefined the North’ to be anywhere north of the Thames. Using the old boundaries, the South received 72% more than the North in public spending. Using the new boundary, the South now only gets about 26% […]Tell me more...!
Current US President Donald Trump has kicked off his 2020 presidential re-election bid with a new slogan and a new hat. He has swapped his familiar red cap for a new one bearing the words “Make America Fascist Again.” It is being produced and sold under license to fund his burger habit and contribute to […]Tell me more...!
Facebook is launching a new digital currency which it expects to take over from national currencies like the US Dollar, the UK Pound, the Euro and the Venezuelan Bolivar. Called the Lyar, it will be pegged to the pot of gold buried in Mark Zuckerberg‘s back garden. The currency will initially be given to those […]Tell me more...!
America has deployed 1,000 chefs to bakeries and butchers throughout Washington DC to ensure continuing supplies of burgers. The White House pulled out of an agreement with local burger suppliers guaranteeing to buy so-many burgers per week. When US President Donald Trump was off on jollies doing state visits and the like, the White House […]Tell me more...!
A new government initiative to improve student grades and exam results is being trialled by exam board Edexcel. A spokesperson said: “Several exam papers were leaked over the past few years and we noticed a sharp increase in correct answers. “We put two and two together and deduced that the leaked papers must have contributed […]Tell me more...!
The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) is in dire straits. Its management team is struggling to pay themselves their pitiful salaries and keep the BBC running at its current level of inefficiency. “The presenters want sooooo much money,” moaned head honcho, director general Tony Hall, who is, understandably, finding it difficult to manage on his meagre […]Tell me more...!
That loveable rascal of the Tory party, current Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, that all-round back-stabber and suckbutt, Michael Gove, is still in the Tory Leadership race. In case any of his compatriots are wondering how to classify him, we’ve created an A-Z list of Gove’s best attributes. Arrogant Backstabber Conspirator […]Tell me more...!
A 4-year-old who can’t be named for legal reasons but who we’ll call Joe was tackled by the Met for inciting violence. A boy who can’t be named for legal reasons but who we’ll call Brandon pushed Joe off his tricycle and rode it around the playground. Joe shouted: “Give me my bike back or […]Tell me more...!