A survey by the Academy for Serious Studies found that young people are unable to distinguish between individuals over the age of 65.
A survey of more than seven young people aged between 18 and 19 carried out in a pub in Wapping on Friday night revealed that not one of them could tell the difference between two old people, even when seen up close.
One said: “It’s uncanny. They both look exactly the same.”
“It’s the wrinkles and grey hair,” said another. “They look like my Gran. Or Granddad, I’m not sure. Hang on! You’re NOT my Gran, are you?”
The old people looked at the test subjects, shook their head and went into the snug to play dominoes.
The test subjects then peered into the snug.
“Ee, the place is full of that old gadgee from the telly,” said one.
“It’s him from that movie about old folk,” said another.
“Nah,” said another young test subject. “They’re old women. Aren’t they? It’s difficult to tell.”
One of the old people looked up from his game and shouted: “‘Ere, who d’you think you’re looking at, eh? Dean Martin?” All his friends laughed.
“Who’s Dean Martin?” the young ones asked each other. “Was he in ‘I’m a Celebrity’?”
One asked the old person: “You’re not my Gran, are you?”
To which he replied: “Get orf with you, ye cheeky bugger, before I tan yer ‘ide!”. He threw a beer mat at him.
The survey concluded with a question about how many old people the group had seen that evening. The only answer they could agree on was “Lots!”