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“All music copyright to be assigned to monkeys,” says EU

You are awesome for sharing

Nah, don't bother, mate. Monkeys have already written millions of songs ten times better than that

Nah, don’t bother, mate. Monkeys have already written millions of songs ten times better than that

The last few years have seen a massive increase in the number of publishers suing songwriters for ‘copying’ music.

It’s a far easier way to make money than writing new songs, although much modern music is derivative drivel and the songwriters ought be sued for inflicting it on the public.

Songwriters are reluctant to release new material for fear of being sued so the EU took time off from humiliating the UK to investigate. It has proposed a new Music Copyright Law.

Renowned musicologist Dr J.D. Spiegelman has made an exhaustive study of western music from the early days of the Pan Flute.

He explains: “There are only 12 notes in the scale. Although the ways of combining them are vast, they are not infinite so it is inevitable that some pieces of music will sound similar.

“If you put a lot of monkeys with musical instruments in a room, eventually they would produce every possible piece of music. Some wouldn’t sound terribly good but that’s not the point.

“Music, therefore, should not be subject to the same copyright laws as other intellectual property because all music already exists. If you must assign it copyright, give it to the monkeys.”

A spokesperson for the Music Publishers Association said: “He doesn’t know his A♭ from his elbow. Monkeys couldn’t write Justin Bieber songs. Well, maybe they could but that’s not the point.

“Besides, how are we supposed to survive if we can’t sue people? We’d have to sell our yachts and our lawyers would have to go back to chasing ambulances.”

Whipsnade Zoo recently placed an order for a dozen pianos. A spokesperson said: “It’s a start.

Ref: BBC Newss Ryan Tedder slams ‘ludicrous’ copyright cases


Which is the most over-rated song you know?
Should we be able to copyright farts?
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