Monthly Archives: July 2019
Monthly Archives: July 2019
A Professor of English at one of America’s most prestigious universities has been sacked after admitting that he wrote US President Donald Trump‘s speeches. Professor J. A. Cedric Klaussmann of Stanford University which runs one of America’s top graduate English programs, was fired after confessing he wrote Donald Trump‘s speeches. “I had an inner compulsion […]Tell me more...!
Feature by guest reporter David Layzelle Recently installed Leader of the House, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Esq., has cemented his position as an authoritarian by issuing a list of preferred words to be used in Parliament. He creates a dashing figure dressed in his customary frock coat over a white starched wing-collar shirt set off by an […]Tell me more...!
One of the first acts of Boris Johnson, the UK’s new Prime Minister, has been to order the creation of a new PM bodyguard unit. The unit will consist of over 20,000 men and women, hand-picked from the armed forces, the police service and up-market hairdressers. Their role will be to shield the PM from […]Tell me more...!
Men from Newcastle Upon Tyne in the North East of England, typically called Geordies, are brushing off the current heat wave as “canny spring wetha.” Unlike most Brits, Geordies refuse to let the weather dictate what they can and can’t do. They are renowned for wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts in winter and consider a […]Tell me more...!
During one of the UK’s rare heat waves, the Met Office issued a blizzard warning for Yorkshire. The forecast warned residents to stay indoors and not to travel unless absolutely necessary. Snow was forecast throughout the area with blizzard conditions across the Dales and around Pontefract. After the warning was broadcast on all major radio […]Tell me more...!
A man who paid over £3,400 ($4,300) for a pair of ‘pre-worn’ trainers still runs slower than his six-year old son. Nicholas O Bromovitch, 32 of Greater Manchester saw the trainers on eBay and snapped up the bargain at its BIN (Buy It Now) price. However, he received a pair of clapped-out sneakers which were […]Tell me more...!
In a leaked memo, it’s been revealed that Universities are adding a new secret test to all student applications. The Chancellor of a University he did not want to be named said: “While we happily accept all students regardless of race, sexual orientation or economic background, we cannot compromise on intellectual ability, common sense or […]Tell me more...!
In an unprecedented reversal of typical university applications, students in their thousands have been switching from political degrees to sign up for Clown School. Clown impresario and spokesman for the Family Of Clowns Association, Professor Bongo Baggy Britches, said: “Clowning has been a dying profession but it has got a new lease of life today. […]Tell me more...!