Monthly Archives: April 2019
Monthly Archives: April 2019
Peers in the House of Lords have recommended cutting pension perks such as free TV licenses for the over 75s, bus passes and the winter fuel allowance. Members of the House of Lords get £305 per day for attending plus expenses and subsidies. Many are on £100+K pensions but they are still in the perfect […]Tell me more...!
After years of jokes and satirical remarks about the incompetence, the greed and the deceitfulness of MPs, the government has passed a bill declaring all MPs a ‘protected species’. No one will be allowed to take pot shots at them, literally or figuratively, under pain of incarceration and removal of their typing fingers. Undercover police […]Tell me more...!
Huawei has developed a new fitness tracker that over-reports activity levels and calories used, and stores the data on a srver in China. The new Huawei WatchNot 2 is aimed at obese and lazy people or, as the advertising puts it, “those with an excessive lifestyle”. It’s for anyone who desperately wants to lose weight […]Tell me more...!
Driverless car AI (Artificial Intelligence) units will be programmed to kill old people, second only to teenage hoodies. In the event of an unavoidable accident, a driver – human or AI –has to make a decision about which obstacle to hit. In other words the car must make a choice between hitting and possibly killing […]Tell me more...!
US President Donald Trump is said to be “very bigly thrilled” at his up-coming state visit to the UK. He is particularly looking forward to spending time with the Queen again after his “working visit” two years ago. “We got on so well, very greatly well. We’re BFF,” he said. “She’s just an ordinary person. […]Tell me more...!
To be governor of the Bank of England you don’t have to be good at financial forecasting, just at making promises and not keeping them. A pathological liar or a political background would be ideal. Current incumbent, Canadian Mark Carney, continuously hinted at interest rate rises but back-stepped after failing to anticipate financial swings or […]Tell me more...!
Due to severe police funding cuts and increases in crime, the police have reached a “gentlemen’s agreement” with criminals. The police won’t pursue “petty crimes” if the criminals cut down on violent crime. In a dingy pub on the lower east side we met with an undercover police officer who cannot be named for fear […]Tell me more...!
With Extinction Rebellion arrests running into thousands, the UK is experiencing a “custodial accommodation” shortage. EU Human Rights law rules out options where they might otherwise be detained such as hostels for the homeless, temporary social housing and half-way houses. Therefore, detainees are now being held in hotels and B&Bs. A Home Office spokesperson said: […]Tell me more...!